Awake and Unafraid, Asleep or Dead?
by K.J. Callahan
Summary: 'When did the concept of an utopian eternity turn into purgatory' he thinks bitterly, swallowing back the rest of the tirade he's bound to go on. But he sees her, knowing it's his fault she's here, he has no words, not even a sarcastic greeting can pass his lips. Because it was better than where they were, and in time, they're all going to be united.
1. Chapter 1

**The Walking Dead: **Awake and Unafraid, Asleep or Dead

_***A/N:**__ Hey all. It's Lady Beckett here, and after the end of 3x04, I just couldn't believe they'd kill Lori, so I went and looked for stories about her. Once there, I found PrintDust. One story, called '__Faulty Benevolence' is just amazing, I suggest you read it. Being so, it inspired me to write this.____I hope you all enjoy this. Reviews and feedback are much appreciated. Thanks. On a side note, the lyrics that inspired this intro are from Fall Out Boy's Bang The Doldrums._

"_The tombstones were waiting They were half-engraved  
They knew it was over, Just didn't know the date..."_

He sighs, having watched what's just folded out before him, and blinks, the ghosts of tears leaving his deep brown eyes. All things considered, he never dreamed she'd go the way she had. Sure, mothers have that primordial instinct to protect their young, but when it was at the cost of their lives? He couldn't understand it.

Just like the way the others had fought so hard to look for the girl that had gone missin' at the old farm, but now here she was, perfectly fine and actin' as an typical eight year old would.

"Sophia! Go tell Dale an' Jacqui we're gonna need a few more rooms set up!" he called to the strawberry blonde as she ran towards him, a small black electronic device in her hands, a gigantic smile on her face.

"I will...but I wanna know, can I keep this?" She asked, holding up what he recognized as an Ipod nano, a reminder that their lives had once been peaceful, one could plug in headphones and slip away, not having to worry about walkers or survival.

'_Not that I need to worry about any of that anyways,' _Shane Walsh thought, looking toward the farmhouse that had became the group's home after their time on the walker-infested land had ended.

Because every one of them was going to die eventually, so they'd all be reunited here again, a group once broken by betrayal and indecisiveness now made stronger be the finality of death and the reassurance of a stress free eternity. And as he looked at the screen of the IPod, it displayed lyrics, and that's when he remembered everything worked here, there was hot water and comfy beds and even beer to drink if you wanted it.

As he read the lyrics, he realized it would only be a matter of time until everyone would be together again. He just hoped when he saw Rick again that his high school best friend would understand, because as it was, Shane had a lot of explaining to do. But then again, Shane wasn't sure who he was more anxious about meeting in this current state of utopia; his best friend, or the woman whose death he had indirectly caused.


	2. Chapter 2

**PrintDust:** Thanks for such a lovely comment! The question about being truly happy in the afterlife made me wonder, and I've tried to incorporate some of that into this chapter.

**Tell Me You're Still You: **Well, uh, sweetie, they're not really alive, so to say…

* * *

She sits up, and she's alone. Nothing hurts, and for once she feels at peace. She's not hungry, not…anything.

The field she lays in is covered in soft downy green grass, it's like springtime again. If she listens hard enough, she can hear a robin singing.

Lori tenderly places a hand on her stomach, wondering why she feels no pain, before sliding a hand up her shirt; her fingers graze lightly against her skin.

The cut is not there from Maggie's impromptu c-section, it's as if she was never pregnant.

Lori smiles sadly as she realizes where she is, the first time in a long time feeling calm, there was nothing to worry about here.

She stands, attention fixating on the farm looming a little ways away.

If this was Heaven, why did everything seem all too familiar? It was like Herschel's farm.

Maybe that was because it had been then first place the group had truly felt safe, had found a temporary home despite the world being in chaos around them.

Before then group folded in on itself and the secrets came out, the bonds broken.

She winced at the memory as she recalled Rick telling her he'd killed Shane. Although Rick had been then one to kill Shane, Lori couldn't help but feel the death had been her fault.

She stumbles for a few steps before she breaks into a light jog, finding renewed strength in this land of perpetual bliss.

Her thoughts drift to the others that had gone before her – Jacqui, Amy, Dale, Jim, Sophia. Dr. Jenner. Otis. Patricia. And lastly, Shane.

If this was their forever, would they all meet somehow?

Lori's green eyes widen at the sight of a familiar figure pacing the porch, baseball cap on his head, wearing tan cargos and a grey short sleeve t-shirt.

Her breath catches as he whistles a tune, turning back to face her, stopping mid-pace, noticing her presence.

"L-Lori?"

It seems like forever since the last time he said her name, the emotion behind it making her realize just how long he's waited for this moment.

As he sees her, not even a sarcastic greeting can pass his lips. Without a second thought, Shane takes two long strides off the porch to stand in front of her, one hand cupping Lori's cheek, desperate to make sure it's really her.

And before she can realize what's happened, it's like the camp on the edge of the Georgia highway.

_One. Two. Three._

He counts the seconds that pass in Lori's confused gaze before he leans in, his lips lightly capturing her own.

Lori is too stunned to even react the way she should have, she's too overwhelmed by the realization that he knows it's his fault she's here. Too overwhelmed by what she's left behind, Rick, Carl…the baby she didn't even get to see.

But somehow, she can't even find the will to be angry at the man in front of her, all she wants is to know if things have gotten better and if everyone she thinks is here really is, if-

She's thinking too much.

Pulling away from the kiss, she manages a smile.

"Explain. We're dead, that I know, but-"

"I missed you, more than ya'd ever believe." He adds quickly, voice tinged with relief and something else she can't figure out.

She nods, before walking past him, intending to head for the house. She ignores Shane as he calls for her, she needed time to think, process what had happened.

Him kissing her upon seeing her wasn't going to help any – his desire for her hadn't burned out any, no matter if she was alive or dead.

Lori leaned against the door to the living room, sighing,_ 'Even in the afterlife, things are complicated.'_


End file.
